Her Masculine Wing was the Wing of Doing, Striving, Persevering and Accomplishing, and she knew how to use that Wing extremely well. The bird was a very good student. She had lived a very long time in the company of birds that were gifted at Masculine Wing use, and she had learned that Doing, Striving, Persevering and Accomplishing were applauded, and were very good survival skills in the company of these birds.
But the day came when she she noticed that she had been tending to fly in circles, far, far more than she flew straight ahead. She looked at her Masculine Wing and saw that all of the Doing, Striving, Adapting and Persevering seemed to be working against her. Instead of feeling like she was surviving, she started to feel more, and more, and more trapped. Less alive. Less vibrant.
One of her bird friends said to her, "Why don't you use both your wings? Maybe you'll fly straight ahead that way!" and the bird thought to herself, "What a grand idea! How do I do that? I know! I'll use my Masculine Wing to activate my Feminine Wing!" and she began to Do, Strive and Persevere her way toward Accomplishing the use of her Feminine Wing.
She became very upset when that didn't work!
So she redoubled her efforts! She tried harder still. But for all of her striving, she could not seem to activate Allowing, Self-Care, Self-Kindness and Letting Go. Defeated, she sat down and said, "Oh, I give up. I'm a loser. I can't do anythingright! I've tried and tried, and nothing works! I must be stupid."
Suddenly she realized that she was being really mean to herself, and that it felt really bad. She thought, "Well, I don't deserve to feel this bad! It's not my fault that I don't know what I don't know! Poor me, beating up on myself - that's not something I'm going to do right now. That's not helping! I know I'm doing the best I can. I know I'm a good bird." And she started to cry out of compassion for herself.
At which point her Feminine Wing started to flutter at her side.
She gasped and wiped away her tears so that she could look at the site of this new sensation. "What is happening?" she asked her Feminine Wing, and it seemed to respond, "You are allowing!"
"But I don't know how to do that!" the bird objected.
"It is not something you do. It is something you feel and intend. And it requires patience, and gentleness, and curiosity, and not-doing!"
Well, now the little bird was very confused. But she did very much like the way she felt when she was not-doing. So she spent some time each day, not-doing - letting herself do the unproductive things she loved to do, like sit among the leaves in a tree, just to be surrounded by green, or roll in the grass, which smelled so beautiful and cushioned her tiny body. And as time went on she became utterly fascinated by the way that her Feminine Wing was growing stronger without her doing anything!
It made no sense to her at all!
Until the day she felt the impulse to fly again. To try again. She first thought, "Oh no. If I rely on my Masculine Wing and I Persevere again, I'll just go in circles!" But the impulse to rise again into the blue sky was too much to resist. So, with a sigh of resignation, the bird got to her feet and prepared to fly.
To her amazement, both wings lifted together, simultaneously, in graceful arcs of movement, lifting her upward with a feeling of grace and ease she had never before felt in her life.
She pushed forward into the current of air, and then let go and allowed it to carry her, and pushed forward into again the next current of air where she again let go and floated along in the air, moving ever toward where she wanted to go!
It felt miraculous! She felt free! She felt both in control, and surrendered to these marvelous sensations and this air-borne journey, the likes of which she had never before experienced!
And then she understood: She needed both wings to make her journey. She needed both to push and to allow. She needed to love herself, and the striving was to remember and to practice that. She needed to accomplish, and she needed to be gentle with her own efforts.
With this new awareness in her mind, the bird smiled, and sailed forward into the open sky.
To learn to balance your wings, come to www.GoodbyeGoodGirl.com and sign up on the Home page to download "The Five Strengths of Feminine Power". Contact Lori at email@example.com with any questions about private coaching, public talks, and workshops.
Lori Ellen Kirstein is a motivational speaker and writer, a professional actress/singer, whose mission is to empower women to know their Strength, to express themselves, to define themselves in empoweringly truthful ways, and to have a nourishing, powerful impact on the world, individually and together.