of clout. We are both walking through something scary in order to reach for something more incredible on the other side of the discomfort! The question is: can we stop feeling so terrified and disempowered?
The easy answer is yes. The not-so-easy answer is that while you can walk through those nerves with relative ease - with the right kind of assistance - you need to be willing to keep on exercising that new empowerment "muscle".
What was I afraid of? What are you afraid of?
We are all afraid of being seen negatively, of course, and there is something else that we're afraid of. We are afraid of believing in ourselves.
It is not, by the way, our fault. Our world teaches us to look to experts for answers and guidance. With this kind of decades-long practice of Trusting the Other - going to school and looking to teachers, going to work and looking to managers and bosses for guidance and approval - it should come as no surprise that we have rather lost the ability to feel good just being our cool selves!
Listen, there is nothing wrong with consulting with experts - I do it regularly. But I always come home to me - home to my own decisions, my own pathway, my own ever-expanding experience, insight and wisdom. And sometimes I eschew the experts entirely, especially when they're not really all that expert! It happens! And it is no small thing to find the courage to ignore them when, even with all of that clout, they're full of crap!
The greatest fears about our communications are born of standing in wrong relationship to ourselves. Ask yourself this question: How would it all be different for me if I were curious about what makes me tick (like a gold-inlaid clock, not like a rickety old one - c'mon, give yourself a break!), instead of comparing myself to someone else?
Wouldn't I be more fascinated with my expansion and self-discovery than I would be anxious and self-berating?
Wouldn't I be enjoying the learning of depending more and more on my own wisdom and my willingness to gain wisdom where necessary, than I would be playing the self-blame game?
What quality of experience do we want to have?
I know that what I do in my work is all about increasing fascinated exploration, growth, and positive self-perception while decreasing self-blame, negative comparison, and punishing self-judgment.
The results, for myself and for my clients, are always full of reward, relief and joy.
Entrepreneur, Actor, Speaker and Rebellious Game-Changer - that's me. I coach women, helping them recognize, understand and break out of the social "shoulds" to become empowered, powerful and masterful communicators, on stage and off.