Are you a good girl? Then you are supposed to be successful.
Are you a good girl? Then you are supposed to be financially set.
Are you a good girl? Then the rules that are "supposed" to work for everyone are supposed to have worked for you too.
Are you a good girl? Then if the rules that are supposed to work for everyone didn't work for you, you have done something terribly, terribly wrong, lazy, screwed up, and you should be set straight.
Are you not a good girl? Are you in a tough situation?
Are you not a good girl? Does the fact of your situation(s) make other people uncomfortable?
Are you not a good girl? Does the fact of your situation(s) bring out the preachy and judgmental in others?
Let me tell you something:
Life has a way of kicking the shit out of you.
Whether you go through illness, personal loss, poverty or a bad turn in the road, it is no one's place to judge you or try to teach you how to do it better. You are not heir to the shame they want to place on you. Reject it. Reject it.
The only type of person you want to listen to is the person who sits down with you and in all compassion and openness wants to hear exactly what happened, how it happened, and how in the world - and if - they can help.
All other people can be invited - by your non-good-girl self - to bugger off.
Lori Ellen Kirstein is a motivational speaker and writer, a professional actress/singer, whose mission is to empower women to know their Strength, to express themselves, to define themselves in empoweringly truthful ways, and to have a nourishing, powerful impact on the world, individually and together.