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Why I question, and break, the social "shoulds"!


I am a change agent. A thought leader. A bright older woman who tried the traditional modes of employment...and failed. Who tried the untraditional modes of seeking my purpose...and failed.

I am not only a change agent now - in businesses, business teams and with individual women leaders, but I have always been an unintentional change agent. I have been the kind of "big energy" that causes problems when I try to work in offices with anyone who fears for and endlessly protects their position of power. The fear is that with energy like mine, I want what the powerful have.

The truth is that I have never wanted their kind of power. I don't even see it as the true kind of power that transforms, elevates, solves, and saves.

I have never wanted to be a part of a pack and find my place of security and just squat there, never quite satisfied. This has proven to be an adventurous path to walk, but walk it I have. I do make conscious choices to do so, but I still have moments or months where I wonder if I have any say in it at all.

And I do. I have chosen to walk a path that leads to me being all that I am, right out loud.

It started with simply being "opinionated". That was the word my mother used. "You are too opinionated," she would say. And I - at a precocious 12 years of age - respond, "Too opinionated for what?"

In my 30's, I would become a professional actress, lured and enraptured by the live-wire experience of walking out onto a stage, being emotionally naked, and courting at any moment the complete loss of the script in my head. It is free-falling, and it is one of the more alive places in life you can safely inhabit!

I became a jazz singer. Put me on stage anywhere, hand me a microphone, and I'm happy. I just want to connect with you, with the audience, and share authenticity, warmth, encouragement and joy - and that is what happens when I am on stage. 

In an effort to combine my creativity and my need for security, I became a Marketing Virtual Assistant, teaching myself social media when it first emerged on the scene. 

I became a writer - self-publishing what will soon be three books - and an artist, painting designs on everything from paper to chairs, and offering my artwork online.

I became a public speaker (of course); remember, put me on a stage anywhere, with a mic, and I'm happy...

I also became an Acting Coach, a Self-Expression Coach, something else I called being an Emotional Linguist™, and I started coaching Women Leaders in the kind of empowerment that is experiential and personal.

So, what was the core of these experiences? What could I safely "call" myself?

I am a change agent. I see the good and the bad of the systems in which we live, and how we are invisibly held captive - struggling against the bonds that stop our courage, our considered risks, our efforts to try to be something new, someone new!

I see where individuals are bound. I see the possibilities that call to us - those of us in business who want to do better, in a newly defined world. But I don't believe we should define it as we have done up until now. That time is past.


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Do you like the idea of breaking those social "should's" that have held you back for too long? Do you like the idea of successfully changing your modes of communication, your business structures, your self-image, and to your quality of life?
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Lori Kirstein, Founder
The Goodbye Good Girl™ Project LLC
The Feminine Face of Business
Cincinnati, OH 45205

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  • Home
  • Services
    • Speaking
    • Powerful Woman Leadership Program >
      • 3-Month Authenticity Programs
    • Business Presentations and Trainings
    • 1-on-1 Coaching
  • Workshops and Products
    • Workshops
    • Books
  • About
    • About Me
    • Blog
    • Podcast
    • Testimonials
  • Contact