Where I've been, who I am, and how I break with the Good Girl
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I was 16 when I joined a women's group at my high school. I was a firebrand about feminism and my father was angry with me because I wanted him to call my friends "women" instead of "girls", and his viewpoint on life was that of the traditional World War II male: not enlightened.
It didn't take long for me to reach my 20's and to learn that expressing myself was considered "pushy". As a "good girl", I quickly adjusted to so-called reality in the work world and I learned to do those things that women learn to do to make those with social power feel less challenged: |
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(1) apologize for just about everything
(2) doubt myself so that instead of being powerful with my words and actions, my time was spent arguing with myself about whether I was right or wrong to feel so wrong! (3) try to fit in, even though I knew in your heart that it was your job to fit out - to become who I truly am. |
In my 20's I studied how the use of language by the two sexes differed. In my 30's I rediscovered the acting and singing I had done in grade school and high school. At this age it was a whole new ballgame. Now I could possibly break from my corporate jobs and learn from both of these very visible art forms; maybe I could even define my life as an artist!
I took what I knew of self-expression and emotional connection - from the acting world - and what I knew of power in verbal, physical and mental communication - from the world of linguistics - and I started coaching speakers, entrepreneurs, performers in the mid 1990's, and the results were intoxicatingly immediate.
The people who came to me were singers, actors, public speakers and business owners. All of them needed the same thing: to push past shame, reticence, adherence to those good girl rules, and to be supported in recognizing their unique emotional core and how to speak or sing their message from that place.
I work to free women from wholeheartedly believing lies about themselves: that they "can't", or that they are unworthy, or too shame-laden, to speak their truth and be their best, real selves.
- What I actually started to define was who I am.
- What I started to do was to hear my own voice and to allow myself to speak my emotions, and to speak as other people as a way of reflecting those parts of me I had kept hidden for so long.
- What I started to do was to allow myself to come into my existence as me instead of as some "pretend" version of me, placed on me - by myself - like a coat so that I would look like everyone else.
- What I started to do was to become visible - that thing that women are expected not to do unless they are either extremely sexy-plus-emotionally-pliant, or extremely traditional-plus-smiling.
- And I discovered my talent at getting to the heart of a client's strength, and teaching her to walk into it, experience it, and deepen her identification with it.
I took what I knew of self-expression and emotional connection - from the acting world - and what I knew of power in verbal, physical and mental communication - from the world of linguistics - and I started coaching speakers, entrepreneurs, performers in the mid 1990's, and the results were intoxicatingly immediate.
The people who came to me were singers, actors, public speakers and business owners. All of them needed the same thing: to push past shame, reticence, adherence to those good girl rules, and to be supported in recognizing their unique emotional core and how to speak or sing their message from that place.
I work to free women from wholeheartedly believing lies about themselves: that they "can't", or that they are unworthy, or too shame-laden, to speak their truth and be their best, real selves.
I have studied and worked with interpersonal Communication for over 30 years. Communication...that art form that is the most difficult for us humans. That art form that no one teaches us, yet we are expected to just know how to do it through nebulous instructions like "be nice" and "be polite".
This is so not okay with me! So I teach others how to speak up, how to be visible, how to understand and better their communications, whether they're on stage or in a business meeting. I have made - according to one of my clients - good speakers into great speakers. According to another client, I changed her life when we worked together to break the chains stopping her from sharing her story with her clients!
Like so many , I want to be of service in changing this world. And the best and most fun, rewarding thing I know to do is to help other women find their voice, their purpose, their passion, and their freedom from the social shoulds so that they can use their lives to full effect, and we can change our businesses, our work, our lives, and our world.
I offer workshops, individual coaching session packages, and group talks.
You can find me at support@GoodbyeGoodGirl.com if you have questions or would like to set up an appointment to chat about any of those options.
This is so not okay with me! So I teach others how to speak up, how to be visible, how to understand and better their communications, whether they're on stage or in a business meeting. I have made - according to one of my clients - good speakers into great speakers. According to another client, I changed her life when we worked together to break the chains stopping her from sharing her story with her clients!
Like so many , I want to be of service in changing this world. And the best and most fun, rewarding thing I know to do is to help other women find their voice, their purpose, their passion, and their freedom from the social shoulds so that they can use their lives to full effect, and we can change our businesses, our work, our lives, and our world.
I offer workshops, individual coaching session packages, and group talks.
You can find me at support@GoodbyeGoodGirl.com if you have questions or would like to set up an appointment to chat about any of those options.
