Even in the show, Friends, verbal/emotional soft skills are targeted. Joey says, "It's not what you said - it's how you said it!" and Chandler accuses Joey of becoming a woman.
He should be so lucky. Women have a grasp on words and their subtext that is natural for us as the group of people who have had to "read the room" every day of our lives in order to survive, navigate, and avoid. The same can be said of all people of color - our partners in the less-than world - but women and feminine references continue to bear the brunt of ridicule at the same time as those intuitive readings are now sought by Corporations everywhere.
It's time we understood what power we have in these so-called soft skills, and take pride in them. Taking pride in them will help our self-confidence and unlock many doors to our appreciation of our own wisdom.
Feeling and Communication
Reading below the surface of words and their meaning is called Emotional Intelligence. What you call a thing is important because it speaks to the understanding of the person you're speaking to. For example, in a corporate environment, if you say you "have a feeling", that is an easy phrase to dismiss. If on the other hand you speak of "Emotional Intelligence", you are getting your message through the front door where the guards are now not at attention!
Empathy and Action
Empathy makes for good leadership and good collegial relationships. Empathy leads us out of snap judgments so that we can make more balanced and humanistic decisions about our fellow workers. The Corporate view of empathy is better than it used to be. Now, it is seen as an important facet in communication, but it is not truly understood because it doesn't match the analytics of speed and productivity and bottom-line financials. Nevertheless, empathy is what drives the kind of leadership that avoids problems and finds solutions.
Tears, laughter, frustration, joy - we have learned to modulate these in order to "fit in" or at least not draw attention to ourselves. That makes me incredibly sad, because that holding back of emotion stops us from being our unique selves! Without that connection, we wander in professional directions that don't inspire us and we wake up at 55 in consternation that we have sold our life force for security! For heaven's sake, be emotional!
Embrace the Feminine in Your Words and Your Feeling
We are already ahead of the curve, we women, and what we are doing is trying to stay away from the sources of our natural wisdom just when it's time to stand IN them with as little apology as possible.
The Feminine Face of Business is happening. The question is whether we will allow ourselves to take the lead in it, as we should be.
Women's Leadership Coach and Speaker Lori is the author of Call Center Crazy and The Human Solution: Human Solutions to Every "Unsolvable" Business Problem,
As featured in:
Do you like the idea of breaking those social "should's" that have held you back for too long? Do you like the idea of successfully changing your modes of communication, your business structures, your self-image, and to your quality of life?
Lori Kirstein, Founder
The Goodbye Good Girl™ Project LLC
The Feminine Face of Business
Cincinnati, OH 45205
Gratitude to https://www.freepik.com/ for their free images in our social media!
Gratitude to contributing Photographers!
Proudly powered by Weebly