I learned a neat little trick once that makes people stop whatever they're doing, talking about, or thinking, and listen up!
It's silence. Not just silence, but stopping talking in the middle of a sentence. Just. stop. talking. And anyone/everyone else will gradually stop talking as well, because there is something in the rhythm and tone of our speech that speaks to our brain before the meaning speaks to it. In other words, we are accustomed hearing speech rather like we do a song! If the song doesn't end but is instead abruptly stopped, we notice! There is no difference in how we hear speech. So the next time you are in front of a room of people speaking to one another and you need their attention, grab that microphone, you could say what you ordinarily would say, "May I have your attention please?" "We are coming back now, would everyone take your seat?" or you could say something longer and then stop in the middle. Like this: "Okay everyone, I know we're having a fantastic time talking to one another but it is time to come back to the seminar. So everyone, please take a seat, and I know that this is a great deal of fun, but..." and stop talking. If you just wait...one by one, people will stop talking and turn to the stage to listen. It's a fun little trick, and it works. Enjoy!
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That is what self-expression is: you out loud.
Do you know what makes that a tough nut? It's really a social thing - we have been trained to judge ourselves against impossible standards of perfection and we never come out well when we do that sort of thing. We look not just at the ads and images that flood into our brains from social media, television, streaming - you name it! - but we also hear the internal judgments that we think are helping us...but aren't. I know, you have been taught to work on your weaknesses so that you can become better at your work and become The Big Cheese in some way. If you haven't already been told this, let me be the first to clue you in, because this is going to save you MAJOR time: What you focus on is what increases. So if you're focusing on what weakens you, you are looking in the wrong direction. What are your strengths? Your natural strengths? Are you a friendly person? Warm? And people gravitate to you? Are you a scientifically-minded person that people always come to for clarity of understanding? Are you the kind of person who takes one look at a set of disparate elements and synthesizes them, amazing those who have been struggling to understand how all of those pieces fit together? What are your natural strengths? Because when you start to lean into those, what comes forward for you as a communicator and speaker is your natural enthusiasm, your natural attractant factor, and your natural ease with expressing exactly who you are. And while that is not the end of the journey - there are other skills to add into your self-expression mastery - it is absolutely the start. #self-expression #public speaking #publicspeaking911 #naturalstrengths |
AuthorLori Kirstein believes in following and creating only those rules that t support your best self in work and in life. Communication done with awareness and skill is not only possible, it is life and career-changing. Communication is just a different kind of learning. And it is one that brings incredible rewards and joy in all aspects of our lives. Archives
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