 "Communication and the Contractor": The most important communication tool...
Communication - I often say - is the most important art form never taught. It isn't taught in high school and unless you sign up for it, not in college either! Yet we are expected to understand one another, and make ourselves clear. To that I say: It's amazing that it happens as often as it does! That's not a pessimistic statement but one that comes from understanding how much meaning is buried in our words and our minds that remains unexpressed. We take one another at face value - actually, more at "word value". We believe that others mean what they say. When we learn that this is not always true, we tend to get distrustful of the whole process and just hide ourselves in, "They're an idiot. They should have said what they meant." With the most important tool in communication, you can avoid a lot of that. What is the most important tool? Questions! For instance, say someone says something that really ticks you off. What do you do? Well, you get pissed, of course! But what do you do to make sure that you are getting ticked off for the right reason? How do you avoid a later conversation where your partner in convo says, "But that isn't at ALL what I meant!" Ask a question.
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I believe fervently in communication. Real communication. The kind of communication where two people connect in a real way, whatever level they are meeting on.
I believe in communication as a pathway to fulfillment in my day, and in your day. We are not islands, it is said, and yet we so often act as though we are, which just drains our days and our interactions of meaning.
It doesn't take much, and the rewards are enormous. I just completed a 7-month management consulting job with a lovely and intelligent man who was putting on a large annual legal conference. One of my tasks was to take the Sponsorship process in hand and uplevel it. He told me recently that as he watched me interact by email - and phone - with people I had never met, but would quickly become friendly with, he learned for the first time that "personal connection could be formed and maintained through email". This kind of connection comes from a few easy-to-do actions.
You can use these as "tactics", but the true power comes when you really understand that what you are doing is creating meaning in both your lives. While the task at hand will go away (in this one case of mine, dealing with sponsorships), whatever connections and genuine human interactions you have formed will not. Those inform your life with meaning, with a reason to get up every morning and invest yourself in what you are doing. Particularly if you work on any kind of repetitious task, bringing something of magic and fascination into the mix is well worth your time and energy. |
AuthorLori Kirstein believes in following and creating only those rules that t support your best self in work and in life. Communication done with awareness and skill is not only possible, it is life and career-changing. Communication is just a different kind of learning. And it is one that brings incredible rewards and joy in all aspects of our lives. Archives
June 2024
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